There are no words...

I wish I could adequately describe what I experienced today. It broke my heart on so many levels. Africa New Life in Rwanda accepts less than 100 women into the cosmetology and sewing program each year out of hundreds that apply. They select those who need it the most. Today I saw why. We visited Jean (pronounced Jahn). She was accepted into the sewing program late because someone else dropped out. She met us at the road to greet and welcome us into her home... a room about the size of a queen-sized bed. It had a small bed with no mattress, clothing hanging on mud daubed walls and a dirt floor. Six people live there. Jean, her mother and five-year-old child and two mid-school children, and Jean's four-year-old son. No electricity, no plumbing, no windows. A corrugated metal door allowed in the only light. The air was dank. She offered the only two chairs in the house, a stool and wood chair. I was doing "okay" (sort of) until they asked if her son was in the school's daycare program.

Suck it up you moms. She has no one to care for him so his 5-year-old aunt watches him all day long. Those two children roam all over the area and Jean hopes the neighbors watch out for them. HE IS FOUR YEARS OLD! Alone, taking care of himself. My grandson is four.... I can't even go there. If he were in daycare at the school, he would have better food, care, and it would be easier to find a sponsor for him. But because his mother began the program late, the daycare is full. Jean walks 40 minutes to school, works all day and probably worries about her child which takes her attention away from her studies.

.

I have always heard about sponsored children, and, in fact, I have one in the Philippines through a different program. Until today, I never saw what my small pittance of $40 a month could do for a child. With a sponsorship, his little guy would have food, care, schooling, and so much more. If I attend a movie, buy popcorn and soda, I can easily spend that much without even thinking. I will never see frivolous things the same again. I am RICH in comparison, but I will never have the faith they have. Because, quite honestly, I don't need it. I have it all! Jesus has become our Santa Claus, not our Savior. And that causes my heart to tear into tiny shreds that may never heal. Others say I am too hard on myself, but I don't know how this can't change your life. If it doesn't change mine, then there is something seriously wrong with me.

I have seen poverty before, and I could say I've experienced a bit of it. I grew up without electricity and indoor plumbing. I carried water, coal, and used an outhouse. But I always had food to eat, clothing to wear, and parents to watch over me. This family had nothing and yet were grateful for a chance to change their conditions because God gave Jean a chance to attend school.

Susan, Jean and her son to the right, and Mama with the 5-year-old "aunt/caretaker" on the left. Mama is gone all day looking for work, probably day jobs.

Pray for Jean and her family. Not only them but so many others. IF... Africa New Life only take those who need help the most, how must the others in the program live?

I pray that you might consider what you could do to help any family in any program around the world. We often don't think we can make a difference. Believe me, you can.

And this was a neighbor child. Isn't she cute as a bug's ear?

Tomorrow is another day. A day that I can use to make a difference. I may not see it or even know it, but I can. A smile, or a hug, or encouragement, all of which change things. I can pray for them, lift them up, fill them with sustenance. And, from them I can learn about real faith and trust in God.

Sleep may not come easily tonight. I ask God to forgive me for whining about having only one outlet in my room!